Wednesday, May 18, 2011

A Tale of Two Crazy Shoppers

Ok so here is a tail of how my yesterday went down....

(WARNING: Please brace yourself, because this could get ugly.)

5:50 a.m. I woke up dazed & confused...ok not really, but I did wake up at exactly that time, because I am slightly obsessive compulsive about my morning routine.  Don't be hatin'

7:30 a.m. We rush out the door for school, because we are late as usual.  The Brahman Breeder glares at me as usual.  My lovely sister leaves her breakfast in the pickup as Usual. And my Mother yells at me to be safe as usual. And i sing my heart out to Shania usual.

8:15 a.m. I leave school to accompany my Mother to Lubbock, Texas, to buy the "goods" for our FFA Banquet.  I arrive home expecting to leave that very moment, because as usual we are on a time crunch...but instead we departed exactly an 1 hour and 35 minutes later....not that I was keeping time or anything....

10:30 a.m. We arrive at sonic, because strangely I am starving. ( This really isn't strange, I just thought I'd make an attempt to be humerous...attempt failed.)  So I order a hot dog.  It's delicious.  I eat it all.  And then I want another one.  So I scream, and cry, and recieve no Hot dog....once again, attempt failed.

11:30 a.m. We arrive at Sam's with our "armor" on so to speak because when I am shop, I don't just shop, I speed shop.  Anyways, we ran around Sam's for an hour (give or take a second) and got approximately 144 new potatoes, 30 onions & lemons, 24 packages of sausage, 6 packages of shrimp, 6 containers of Zatarans (pronounced Za-ta-ran's...not Zarrrrtin's like My pop believes) and 60 ears of corn. Needless to say my back was aching because of the tremedous basket weight, my head was aching because everyone kept staring at us, and my mother was crying because I was making her run everywhere...The end.

1:00 p.m. We pull in Lowe's and attempt to buy a whole backyard....Not really, but we did buy enough flowers to make a flourist go into a blissful coma, and enough tin can buckets (I cannot think of the proper name for them at this moment) to make whoever uses tin can buckets happy, and by this time the blisters on my feet made pedestrians gag, Amen.  Oh, and my Mother getting revenge for the whole Sam's ordeal made me search every nook & cranny of Lowe's for a cheap cooler.  I did eventually find one, but by this time I was sweating, panting, and yelling at everyone that looked at me. I'm no longer allowed in Lowe's by the way.

2:00 p.m. We make our way to Hobby Lobby. Usually, I love Hobby Lobby, but yesterday I was in such a hurry that I didn't have time to love it, and this made me ticked, so I shopped at an even faster paste, and grabbed every cupcake liner within sight. 

3:15 p.m. By this time their is no more room in our pickup AT ALL.   Literally, we didn't even have room to breath, and I'm not exaggerating either because Mama kept choking on her water, and expected me to do the hemlic on her, but sadly there was no room, so she just spit her water onto the floor instead.  And after saying that I am now grounded. The end.

5:00 p.m. We make it home, I want to lay down and die, but I don't have time, because I have a banquet to go to...So I poof my hair to unnatural heights, throw on a pair of heels, and head out the door.  The End. ( For real.)

Peace, Love, & I should be inducted into the Mad Shoppers Hall of Fame...anyone want to nominate me??  Didn't think so....nevermind.

Sweet T

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