What's the first thing you do in the morning?
Do you hit the snooze button?
Take a shower?
Run a mile? (Definitely what I would do....OK, I lied...someone slap me please.)
Fry some bacon? ( Um, yes I think this sounds a little more like me.)
The "fry some bacon" has begun to become increasingly more popular with me. Not for the obvious reason, because it's W-O-N-D-E-R-F-U-L, but because well....I hate my pigs.
OK, that was harsh, hate is a strong word, I don't hate them, I just wish I could take a frying pan, or a BB Gun, or a Nun chuck, and make bacon (or sausage) out of them RIGHT NOW!
(No I don't need anger management, Leave Me Alone!!!)
You see this "anger" isn't coming because it's something natural for me, I'm usually a very calm, keep your head kind of girl...Excuse me for a minute while I go pummel my brother, he won't quit talking....But these pigs have just pushed me too far. They are provoking me!
Every time I try to feed them they go for the attack.
The push, they shove, and they bight me with their fangs...
(You think I'm kidding? Well friends, I can only wish I was.)
And then I end up crying all the way home...aren't the pigs the ones that are supposed to cry? All the way home?
My most recent injury from them is a huge bight, ahem, fang, mark on my index finger.
And I frequently show it to people so they will believe me.
But I don't have any believers yet...
Will you believe me??
Will you call the animal control??
Because I can't take it anymore! These pigs are driving me crazy, and are a threat to my over-all well being.
Something has to be done.
Peace, Love, & I suddenly have a craving for Pork Chops.