Today is my favorite day of the week....Meat-Packed Monday.
It's a lovely day, full of happiness, and peace, and meat. And what could be better than that?
Today I'm going to give you my favorite meat recipe. A recipe that will defiantly ensure success, I call it....The Recipe for Life.
Here are the steps: (Be sure to follow word for word...because they are words of an expert.)
1. Eat a meal that includes at least one portion of beef, everyday. Preferably twice a day, at least.
Doing this will make you grow strong bones, (Believe me, it's not just something parents say to make their kids eat...it the actual truth, and it's doctor proven, and it's Sweet T approved too.)
Beef will make your teeth whiter, your hair shinier, and your life happier...This is doctor proven too....at least the doctors in Texas anyways.
2. Do things to promote the eating of Beef.
Whatever it is...Host a Beef Party where friends all bring an entree where beef is the main attraction.
Write an article in your newspaper where you encourage EVERYONE to eat beef that day. (Say that it is Sweet approved and everyone will be sure to obey...Did I mention I have a marvelous sense of humor??)
Or go help your local feedyard get their task done early, so they can go home and spend time with their families, doing the things that families love most: Playing dodge ball, and eating steak. Helping your local feedyard will also increase your knowledge of the beef industry, and make you love it all the more...which is a very good thing, because after all, Beef = Love.
3. Play Dodge ball, and eat steak...daily....at least once a day.
Playing dodge ball provides for a hearty appetite, and what better way to ease that appetite than to heat a hearty helping of steak, with a side of steak...That's right, there is no better way.
4. Spend time with your family.
Spending time with your family is never a bad idea. Whether you talk about beef with your kids, and how wonderful it is, or eat beef with your kids, and tell them how wonderful it is, or makes your kids ride wild Brahmans named Tortilla, and tell them how wonderful it is (If they fall off and cry just remember this: It probably made them stronger...probably.)...It really doesn't matter what you do...and despite the bumps, and bruises you may experience from riding Tortilla, it's still family time.
5. Give your daughters money to go shopping...Just kidding, but a girl can dream right?
Forgive me, for being a moron.
5. Do that which you love.
Whether it be fishing, or shopping, or working in your garden, or writing blogs about how much you love beef...it doesn't matter what it is, as long as you love, and enjoy doing it, (and as long as it's not harmful to mankind) then that's what matters.
So go conquer the world today with your new found wisdom that I have provided you with (there goes that pesky sense of humor again...it's uncontrollable really.) and remember: To eat beef is to live. (I should probably copyright that....)
Peace, Love, & Beef is not to blame for moronicness...it was the chicken.