Thursday, March 3, 2011

What makes a moron?

This is a question I have been asking myself for...um...well the last 18 years basically. 

Give or take a few months, the months when morons didn't yet exsist....The blissful months.

Is a moron classified as a person without common sense?

Is a moron a person who doesn't know how to drive without road rage?

Is a moron a person who doesn't know how to ice a cake?  (I'm working on it ok!!)

Is a moron someone who can't walk 10 ft. without tripping over air?  (Guilty? Who me?)

Is a moron someone who sprays deodorant on her dry, longing for moisture, and a dark, fair complexion face?  Yes this is definately someone who is classified as a moron....

And this "her" happens to me....Me in all my moronic patheticness.

Let me explain....

You see it all started one night when I went to bed entirely too late, way later than I'm use to...I think it was 9:30 (I'm believe in going to bed early...I think this is another classification of a moron.) And this along with the fact that I had a sleepless night where I was tormented with dreams of making my Mother a submarine sandwhich that was as long as a football field, and filled with pesto, and turkey...

Someone help me! I even dream in moron!

But anyways, all this made for a not very perky me the next morning, and I awoke to a dry, flushed face that was seeking lotion with all it's mite....I had to act fast, before it was too late and the dryness took over for good.

So I stumbled out of bed,stumping my toe twice on various shoes that were laying on my floor (Also uncharicteritic of my room....Ok, I'm lying.  It is characteristic...very characteristic.) and eventually made my way to my powder room.

When I turned the lights on in my bathroom, the sight that beheld me was even worse than I thought.  My face was red all over, not the pretty red either like the color of geraniums, it was more the red of old brick walls.

So I hastily grabbed my complexion mist, and began spritzing away.

I felt successful in conquering my "redness & dryness" until I realized that my face was now on fire, burning intensely.

I wanted to cry.

I wanted to cry for my Mommy.

I wanted to cry for ice cream, or cucumbers or anything that would make this awfulness go away.

This is when I realized that instead of spraying complexion mist on my face, I had instead sprayed deodorant...Herbal deodorant that made my face smell like "oil of sage" for the rest of the day...

So the moral of this story?

  • Always look before you spray, to avoid a severe burning sensation, and a face smelling of herb gardens.
  • And spraying deodorant on your face classifies you as a hopeless moron.

The End.

Forever.

Amen.


Peace, Love, & I now despise sage.

Sweet T


P.S.  It was an easy mistake...




Right?

1 comment:

cbfalcon said...

Hey Summer, how do we contact you if we have a question?